


The Call to the Light

by PurdyRaven



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurdyRaven/pseuds/PurdyRaven
Summary: Kylo Ren is changing everything for Rey, and muses on the moment that she gave him something truly special.





	The Call to the Light

Kylo Ren leaned his forehead against the cool tiles of the refresher as the hot water pummelled his back, moving over scarred muscles and raising slight goosebumps. His dampened hair stuck to his head, the loose ends dangling towards the floor, droplets falling to join the whirlpool of water washing down the drain. As he watched the water swirling around his feet, he reflected that it looked as though the water was trying to pull him along with it. Strange pulls were all too familiar for him, resembling those moments when the bond tugged at his navel, when the light pulled at his soul, and the world around him became silent as he searched his surroundings for those eyes and lips he could not stop thinking about.

As the Supreme Leader, his days were filled with administration and diplomacy, and walking through the mire of politics. That's what came of trying to slowly change the way the First Order worked. After dealing swiftly - and some may say violently - with General Hux’s uprising, he had lived his life from day to day, taking the victories as they came, but all the while trying to deal with an inescapable feeling that something was missing. 

He knew what it was, though: it wasn’t the rule of the galaxy, which was truly kneeling at his feet. The First Order under Kylo Ren was sweeping across planet after planet, slowly softening the iron hand that Snoke had used on the people and instituting a political system that was not only democratic and representative, but also aimed at sharing resources equally. It was a fight sometimes - who was he kidding, most of the time. But as the new face of the First Order, a lucky turn after he shed the mask of his bond to Snoke - literally and figuratively - and became the liberated victim, the new leader, Kylo Ren had somehow become an inspiration to many populations on First Order-ruled planets. It was a difficult road, and he didn't always get things right, but it was slowly coming together. 

As he soaped himself, he worried over the scant signs of the Resistance despite searching almost ravenously. Only trinkets in the way of secret rings and pendants and graffitti here and there when the First Order first arrived with its new plans. They must have heard of the arrival of the First Order and fled, thinking they would be the target. He was disappointed. He told himself they had no news from the planets he had changed. Regardless, Kylo had determined to at least try redeem himself for his previous crimes, even though he knew for many it was an impossible task. 

Without the oppressive presence of his now-dead master, Kylo had more focus and temperance than ever. At least, that's one of the reasons he's calmer and more focused. His ideas are not clouded by poor judgment, hatred and anger. His actions are not driven by the desire to instil fear and demand submission. But he knows it's not only because Snoke is no longer around.

He knows it's because of her. Her light. Even without the Force, she was the light. It was her mere existence that influenced him to change everything - he only hoped he knew it was all for her.

When she shut the gangway door to the Millennium Falcon on that day on Crait, he believed that it was over between them. He thought she had truly given up on him. And since Snoke claimed to have created the Bond, he believed he would never see her again. But he was wrong. One of the very few times in his life that he was happy to be so.

After a few days of silence, he had convinced himself that it was all over: that her offer to help him had expired; that her refusal to join him was permanent and conditional; that the Resistance was her one and only loyalty. He was so lonely without her, so much more now that even Snoke wasn’t there any more.

He stepped out of the shower, grabbing the first towel on the heating rack and rubbing it vigorously through his hair, now smelling of spice and oranges. He methodically and automatically dried himself as he remembered the day the bond finally answered his prayers.

He was pacing his quarters, musing over a missive from Aterra Alpha as he heard the familiar tingling silence of the bond opening. He could not stop the tears of relief and anxiety that slid out of his eyes like so many secret wishes, his vision blurred as he found hazel eyes staring purposefully back at him. Blinking, he was too stunned to move, even as she started to take a step towards him, reaching out a hand. But then she paused. Through their connection he felt her emotions roil with sudden anxiety. Was she safe with him? Was he very angry with her? She clenched her hand and pulled it back to her side as she studied his face, a look of wonder suddenly crossing her features before she relaxed her hand again, this time resolutely making her way to him as he stood stock still, clenching his fists, too afraid that a movement on his part would stop her from striking him, as he imagined he deserved.

She reached him quickly and lifted her open hand. He flinched and closed his eyes, ready to take what was coming, resolving not to react when she struck him. She raised herself up as high as she could (which wasn't very much), and her hand gently met his face with a rush of emotion. Its gentleness shocked Kylo even more than a strike would have. His eyes snapped open as his knees gave way in relief, now bowing before her. Or was it kneeling? 

He closed his eyes in a bid to stop the overwhelming rush of emotion. He was weak; he had always been weak. He did not deserve her gentleness, her kindness, her light. But when he opened his eyes again, her sweet face was only inches away from his, tilted slightly as she looked into his dark eyes. She had knelt along with him, and his eyes closed in relief and gratitude as he leaned his forehead against her chest. Now he could feel how her heart pounded within, like a butterfly in a jar, and he felt her other hand slowly meet the other side of his face.

He started to shake his head as he trembled before her, silently fighting the last vestiges of the Dark, that mean and twisted thing that whispered only of hate and anger. 

Her hands suddenly gripped him tighter before her fingers ran up his neck and into his hair, pulling his face upwards and his mouth to hers. He did nothing for a moment, shocked that this was not a dream, before letting go, wrapping his arms around her, clutching her body to him. She sighed as she curved her body towards him and tilted her face so he could deepen the kiss.

Kylo had absolutely nothing to compare the feeling to. It was all too much; he could feel the Force twisting around them, seemingly spinning faster and faster like the whirlpool in his shower, mirroring the desperation each felt for the other as they truly connected for the first time.

Everything suddenly felt too hot, as though they were in a circle of fire. He pulled away from her for just a moment to look back into her eyes, desperate to confirm that there was no fear or anxiety there. All he saw was relief and acceptance and affection and he was emboldened enough to suddenly bend down and lift her up onto his hips. She didn't lose a moment, latching onto his lips again and making a small mewling sound that tugged at something inside him stronger than even their connection.

The familiar change in timbre of connection began, leaving just enough time for Rey to suddenly push her hands into his chest to pull away from his kiss, to look into his face again as she told him the only words he ever wanted to hear: 'I just want you, Ben. Nothing else. Just you'.

The emptiness Kylo felt after the connection closed was nearly too much to bear. He bent down to the floor, pounding a fist against the floor and letting out a sound that was neither a sob nor a scream, something that was a mixture of relief, desire, and utter loneliness.

But just those few moments of drowning in light with Rey had helped free more of his heart and mind from what he thought was the interminable clutch of the Dark Side. Without his former Master encroaching on his mind in every moment and reinforcing those self-deprecating thoughts, he was truly clear and focused, just as he had been in the throne room.

Dressed in a black shirt and sweatpants, Kylo lay prone on his bed recalling with closed eyes the feel of her lips against his, her hands in his hair, her weight once again in his arms. And even though he had not felt the bond open for a long while now, that precious moment had inspired something in Kylo that he had never believed he could feel again: **Hope**.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This was my very first fanfic, and also, admittedly, my first creative writing piece in forever. I hope you like it, but I'm sure (I hope) you'll let me know in the comments! I did [this artwork](http://missflt.tumblr.com/post/172307641012/im-trying-to-get-back-into-my-artwork-and-this) for the piece; please join me on [Tumblr](http://missflt.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


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